this morning #981.

this morning, all this emotional ghosting was starting to take its toll on me. one minute things felt fiery, like we were living a romance for the ages. the next, they were just going through the motions, holding back emotions, holding out on me. wild whiplash. no explanation. i’m left wondering if it’s something i’ve done but i’m never able to come up with a reason. i set up a scale, weighed our moments of merriment against the absence of it all. tried to decide if it was all worth it. denied that the good times had passed. resented having to question their commitment. shifted back & forth between love & hate. debated if i hated being in love.