this morning #911.

this morning, there was clearly a serious emergency afoot, so i made the call. it rang. it rang. it rang once again & they answered. i told them what my emergency was. they asked me a ton of questions & advised me to make sure that the front door was unlocked in case things took a turn for the worse & my ass passed out. given the amount of blood, fainting was a distinct possibility. good tip, dispatcher. i was hoping to keep the bloodshed confined to a single room, so i sat at the kitchen table, propped my towel-wrapped hand up to slow the flow. i tried to focus on breathing, tried reading the back of a box of berry berry kix. next thing i knew, i awoke to two paramedics standing over me.