this morning #879.

this morning, right from the moment i woke up, i could tell i was fucked. bright red target on my back. sure. i deserved it. i wished they’d cut me some slack though. instead, i had to ignore all these questioning calls from friends, voicemails begging me to make sense of the madness i’d made. it’s amazing how people think they’re actually owed answers when shit gets real. nobody’s owed a damn thing anymore. it’s every man for himself. look. if one of my friends actually does manage to get through to me, of course i’ll come clean. i’m sorry there buddy but a manic panic arose in me, followed by a moment of clarity. i had to do what i did for my wife & my kids. i can always make me new friends.