this morning #748.

this morning, i woke up cautious, nauseous at the thought of sitting across a table from him tonight after all these years apart. while it was well within my rights to call the whole thing off, a not-insignificant part of me wanted to see how much he’d changed with my own eyes. everyone said that he had but, for obvious reasons, i had trouble believing it. for the last few years of our relationship, he’d insisted on twisting my words into nothing more than meaningless meanderings. this dinner needed to be different. i needed to believe he wasn’t still that gaslighting fuck who was stuck in my memory. i wasn’t expecting to look in his eyes & see the guy i once loved, but i did hold out hope.