this morning #597.

this morning, there was an overwhelming odor slowly wafting out from the kitchen. he was afraid to investigate further, worried that he might see something that’d spoil the remains of his day but it was pungently palpable that something had already spoiled. the stench wasn’t going to sprout legs & walk out the door any time soon though, so he got up from the couch to face the funk. it was like a mix of eggs & assholes that’d been left out in the sun. once he saw what it was, he reacted like any other human would’ve when struck with the sight of a raccoon who’d consumed everything in the cabinets including some cleaning products before shitting itself & dying—he barfed on the kitchen floor.