this morning #391.

this morning, detailed market research & popular opinion had led him to believe that jack & jill everyman would be clamoring for his latest invention. he even had his shark tank pitch perfected. “let me ask you this. what is the one room in your house that you spend the most time in?” [pause for response] “that’s right. the bedroom.” [pause for effect] “what if i told you that you could turn your bedroom into a place you’d want to spend even more time in?” at this point in his spiel, the listener would wonder if he was speaking about an aid for sleeping or for sex & that’s when he’d spring it on them with all the enthusiasm of a 1920’s snake oil salesman: END TABLE MINI FRIDGES.