this morning #2053.

this morning, all i was trying to do was use the bathroom. i get that it’s a public facility but c’mon! i’ve been third in line for forever. “did you die in there?” i shouted. thus began an avalanche. the man standing in front of me reached past the guy at the front of the line & pounded on the door. no reply from inside the restroom. no sound at all. whoever’s in there has to be doing drugs. i know it. last year they found a woman dead in there. closed it up for a whole month. drugs. ugh. be still, my overtaxed bladder! “y’all in front of me best be quick. no taking a shit.” the guy in front turned to me & smirked. “lady. i’m about to blow up that toilet.” oh. it’s like that? i reached into my bag. stepped up & stabbed him right in his stupid back.