this morning #2051.

this morning, i sprinkled a spoonful of sugar onto my bowl of bran flakes. cut up a strawberry & tossed it on top. poured a glass of apple juice. had to sweeten the pot enough to make the bland, healthy taste somewhat bearable, after all. “you can’t keep having cookies & soda for breakfast blah blah blah.” doctor’s orders. fine, doc. she should be happy that i’m making any adjustment at all. bran flakes? it’s sad. i’m only thirty-nine & i’ve already become my mother. how deliciously ironic! with every single mouthful of cardboard, i can hear mom’s raspy accent. scolding me for not eating more like her. deriding my diet. pointing out my so-called lack of self-control. over & over again right up to the day she died.