this morning #2019.

this morning, i was just starting to scratch the surface of my journey into unearthing the mystery of who swiped rudolph off of my front lawn late last night. i’ve reviewed the camera footage a dozen times. two hooded figures appear in frame at 2:11am. they hurry up to the lead reindeer and, without pause, the shorter thief uses a pair of bolt cutters to free rudolph from the shackles & wires that tie him to his nine flying friends. rudolph’s red nose goes dark and by the way that the kidnappers react to that, it’s obvious that they’re tickled pink about their theft. they waddle away with their ill-gotten gains & the only thing clear about their faces is their wide grins. savages. now i’m one reindeer short with two days ‘til christmas.