this morning #1358.

this morning, let me suggest that you place a bet on today. it’s a bet that’s guaranteed to pay off. TRUST. this is about to be the best damn day thus far in your thirty years on earth. strap in, birthday boy. i’ve got something planned that’s gonna blow your friggin’ mind. i’ll go gas up the truck while you pack a bag. grab enough stuff for two nights. bring whatever you’ll want for a five-hour drive. sorry. i can’t tell you what’s in store. it’ll be better as a surprise. why can’t you just take my word for it? it’s because of what happened last year, isn’t it? don’t worry. i learned my lesson. we won’t be doing anything illegal this time around. nothing that i have planned, that is.