this morning #924.

this morning, even though it was the eve of the reason for the season, i felt nothing. it wasn’t for lack of trying. the tree was friggin’ epic. i’d put up lights all around the house. for the past few days, i wore my famous blue reindeer PJs to bed. there was homemade vegan eggnog in the fridge, for chrissakes. NO SPARK AT ALL. all the thrill that holiday cheer once brought me seems to have slipped away & at least for this year, no amount of noels was going to bring it back. it made me think of my college days, a time when i was SO gung ho for tequila. one night i drank too much & that was enough. haven’t touched the stuff since. hopefully this would be different. deep down, i truly do love christmas.