this morning #800.

this morning, i was about to go on a full-blown, toll-free dialing spree, ringing up each & every hilarious 1-800 number that popped into my head. it’d all started when, after my second early morning bong hit, i’d wondered if 1-800-BIG-DICK was an active number. turns out that the number is for some site called “talktome.com.” HUNDREDS OF LADIES WAITING TO TAKE MY CALL. that’s all it took & i was off. 1-800-HOT-MOMS. the recording on the other end wanted to know if i was “curious about mature women.” i wasn’t, so i hung up & tried to think of a number that wasn’t porn-related. 1-800-BANANAS. it rang once. the confused lady who answered did NOT feel like playing along. TOTALLY killed my buzz.