this morning #734.

this morning, it wasn’t as if we were trying to start a fight but i said the wrong sort of thing to the wrong sort of dudes & by proximity, my pain soon became my friends’ pain. at first, it was just a fistfight but when it escalated, i got desperate. i leapt up onto a table, hoping to defend myself with the closest weapon i’d been able to get my hands on—a fire extinguisher. in retrospect, my decision to deploy said weapon led to a lot of long-term suffering. suspensions. minor mental & physical injuries. thousands in damages. local news items. nobody seemed to appreciate that my fire extinguisher shenanigans had saved my pals from short-term suffering. in the end, i was actually sort of a hero.