this morning #288.

this morning, everyone couldn’t be as admirable as he, with his strut & tight butt & effect on the ladies. lately, he had been deep in the throes of one of his sluttier periods & as he stood shirtless before the mirror in his walk-in closet, he took it all in. the hard abs had been hard work but they were worth every goddamn penny. in a pinch, the glint off his freshly-bleached teeth almost always helped save the day. “who’s the sexiest man alive?” he asked his reflection with a drawl. if his chompers failed to come through, he could always rely on the charm of his folksy southern accent. chicks went crazy for it. unfortunately, all his physical gifts were taking a mental toll. everyone assumed he was a moron.