this morning #2217.

this morning, mentally it felt like i’d been assessed a penalty for asking how we were going to pay this month’s bills. no answer with a side of cold shoulder. for the first time in my life, i felt like i might not be the apple of her eye. decided it was in my best interest to keep my distance. for now. at least until i figure out what her reluctance toward even having a discussion is all about. i hopped in the car & went for a drive. by the time that i’d made it to I-5, i’d worked myself up so much that i wanted to cry. didn’t though. cranked up the volume on the radio instead as my head filled with a million vivid visions. some from the past. some imagined. headed down the highway for the next two hours. selected a random exit just over the border & got off. cleared my head in a dark dive bar.