this morning #2164.

this morning, i woke up sweating with a strong sense of dread lying there beside me in the bed. i chose to let it sleep in. prayed it would stay there all day. not even bother to wake up. i put on my slippers & headed down to the kitchen. made myself a cup of lemongrass tea. sunday. this used to be the lord’s day but in the spring of ‘25, i had to leave the lord behind. it was time. after decades of deepening doubt, i knew i had to try to find a more suitable route. one that works for me. who i aim to be. now i tend to spend sunday mornings attempting meditation. it does the trick about half of the time. i’m getting better at it every day. better at not letting the negative notions sneak in. more adept at tamping down the trepidation.