this morning #1963.

this morning, for the first time in quite a while, he found himself pining for christ. last night, after all the crying had ceased, after he’d said goodbye to his sister & driven two hours home through the wholly appropriate rain, he fell asleep looking for answers. if his mind hadn’t shut itself down as a precaution, he likely would’ve spent the whole night in bed restless. lying awake in a state of desperate investigation. he’d seen this day coming from far off in the distance but hadn’t bothered to build up his defenses. perhaps if he had, he wouldn’t need to reach out to jesus to confront the shock of his brother’s death. he knelt down beside his bed & looked up at the sky. folded his hands because that’s what you do. began to pray.