this morning #1427.

this morning, i wholeheartedly object to the whole idea of that object that you left on my front lawn late last night. don’t play coy, buddy boy. i know that you’re the one behind it. is that monstrosity supposed to be some sort of sick joke? if so, it’s in poor taste even for you. i insist on its removal. post haste. don’t make it so i have to get the police involved. let’s resolve to solve this situation ourselves. you’re the one who put it there so i assume you have the means to move it. i sure as heck don’t. it’s much too big for one man to lift by himself. looks pretty slippery too. look. you knew how i’d react to you putting it there. message received. now please remove it before i have to make a message of my own.