this morning #1416.

this morning, i awoke to the fast click-clack tap tap of a keyboard. he was already wide awake, headphones on, half-empty pot of coffee by his side. hunched in front of his laptop. clearly already in a mood. likely projecting his sustained state of frustration onto unsuspecting fools who were just trying to add their innocent opinions to the overall online discourse. of course, he hadn’t even noticed that i’d woken up so i got out of bed & snuck up behind him. just outside his peripheral. ninjalike. nice & slow. a good scare’s just what he needs right now. something to snap him out of his trance. i silently counted to five and, like a shotgun, shocked him. pinched at his sides. felt his elbow blow back.