this morning #1322.

this morning, i came this close to telling her the truth. for a sec there, i started to convince myself that, if she only knew what i’d gone through to make it to her place, she might understand & possibly take pity on me. be grateful that i even made it at all. then i thought again. you see, i have no issue with telling you what happened. you’re cool. you won’t find a way to use it against me. she’s a schemer though. if i’d told her that i’d almost died twice, she’d have found fault & spun it into a much larger issue. she’d say something like “how come you always let these things happen to you?” presume that i invited the danger. accuse me of choosing chaos when all i’m trying to do is keep it together.