this morning #1232.

this morning, i’m limping along like a goddamn war veteran. curse this bum fucking shufflin’ leg. it’s worse than it’s ever been. maybe i should suck it up & get it checked out. a guy at the bar told me it might be a bout of the gout. said a friend of his had it once. too much booze. told me i need to drink more water. that’s what this comically-sized water bottle is all about. i know you were about to make some snide remark about it. right? i saw you eyeballing it. that’s just like you. i’m suffering over here & your only response is to make light of the size of my water bottle. nice. real nice. how’s about i whack you upside the skull with all 128 fl oz of it, mister comedian? then we’ll see who walks with a limp.