this morning #1225.

this morning, i’d like to ask that you don’t panic. some of you may have noticed a strange smell. i’m here to tell you that we are also aware of this odd odor. not me, personally. as a teenager, i permanently lost my sense of smell. bad firecracker accident. that’s not the important part though. what is important is that, as we speak, we have two of our best men looking into the source of the scent. fear not. if it’s toxic, they’ll let us know ASAP & we’ll evacuate the premises. oh. i see that some of you are already in evacuation mode. let me remind you of our no re-entry policy. no excuses. once you exit the auditorium, that’s it. you’ll just feel foolish about missing the rest of the performance. fine. do as you wish.