this morning #1127.

this morning, down an unmarked alley on the edge of chinatown, i was waiting for his arrival. sitting on an overturned bucket just on the other side of a stack of barrels. hoping that no one walks past. waiting here quietly just like i’d been told. i took his instructions seriously, didn’t want to fuck this up. for weeks now, we’d been building up to this moment, fomenting so much fear, mostly in my head, i guess. probably not so much on his end. come to think of it, the very idea of fear offends him. he seems to believe he’s always in control. i mean, i believe it too. it’s usually true. that’s why i’m relying on him take charge & set things in motion for the both of us. i simply don’t have it in me to do it myself.